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There’s a misconception that when we give our life to Christ, everything will be perfect. That’s not true.
I’ve been saved for 15 years, and God has blessed me in mighty ways.
Before I surrendered my life to The Savior:
I used alcohol to escape the harsh reality of life. Jesus is now the rock on which I stand.
I was divorced. Jesus put my family back together again.
I was a victim of childhood sexual abuse. Jesus gave me victory over my nightmares.
I was unhappy and unsatisfied. Jesus gave me joy and peace.
I was wandering lost in the world. Jesus gave my life purpose.
I was selfish. (Okay, I’m still a little selfish, but I’m a work in progress.) Jesus opened my eyes to the needs of others and called me to minister to them.
I could write page after page of how He healed my body, how He saved my husband and my entire family, how He has miraculously provided for my financial needs. He has truly been good to me.
I have never regretted giving my life to Jesus.
But this world is corrupt. Sometimes, evil touches your life and sends you hurtling through a time of darkness so black all you can do is hold on to Jesus and wait it out.
For the past three years, there were many days where I would curl up on my bed and beg Jesus to take me to heaven. I was done with life. I didn’t have the strength to continue.
During the darkest days, God never left me.[shareable]Jesus held me while I fell apart, and then slowly pieced me back together again. ~ Bridgett Henson[/shareable]He sustained my life when I had no will to live.
I consider myself to be a strong person, but everyone has their breaking point. I don’t want this post to be “O woe is me.” But I do want to encourage you. I want you to know that life never gets too bad for Jesus. So allow me to share some highlights of the last few years of my life.
My stepson was murdered. Because he was shot in the back of the head at close range, and because his wife chose to cremate him, we were never given the opportunity to say goodbye. His ashes have no resting place. There is no place to mourn his death.
Shortly after, a man of God I respected greatly declared my ministry ungodly and sinful. During a phone call that still rings in my ear, I was told how unfit I was for ministry, how God could never use someone like me, and though he was sure I wanted to help, I was causing more harm than good.
Oh, and did I mention that my dad was arrested for raping my niece. A jury convicted him of two felonies, but my mother thinks we should drop the charges and forget the whole thing happened.
I don’t even want to think about the countless, childhood friends who have since related stories that begin like this “Do you remember when I spent the night at your house when we were kids? Well, your dad….” Events from my childhood have suddenly clicked into place like a giant puzzle, and I cringe at the things that happened around me. No wonder, I had so few friends as a child. Yet, I still see God’s hand of protection, because as an adult I look back at the truth and it could have been much, much worse.
During this most difficult time, I knew Jesus loved me. I knew He didn’t want those bad things to happen, but I also know Satan wants to kill, steal, and destroy everything that God loves. And God loves me.
Sin, though not my own, injured me. I was broken. Grief, doubt, and guilt has handicapped me for three years. Though I am an author, I could write nothing. Before the events described above, I wrote three novels—The Whatever Series. During the last three years, I have struggled to find words for a fb post.
I was in a very dark place. I wanted to give up, but God wouldn’t let me.
I’m very grateful that He sent me other authors who needed publishing. I thank Him every day for the godly friends that let me cry on their shoulder, but wouldn’t attend my pity parties and gave me a swift kick in the behind when I needed a not-so-gentle nudge to keep going.
I praise my savior, for holding my heart together when it was breaking.
In desperation, I cried out for revival. I needed to find the all-consuming presence of God. He led me to an old-fashioned altar. Lost in the glorious power of the Holy Ghost, Jesus healed me. He restored my soul. He broke the chains that hindered me. He cleared my mind.
As I write this, the words flow easily onto the screen.
Though the world around me is still in chaos, I’m free.
Sunday morning a pastor said, “I’m so glad Jesus made me free.” Made. Created. At salvation, we are made new creatures. Freedom is made in us. Freedom is created in us.
But other people’s sin can shackle us and steal that freedom. I now know that Jesus can and will set us free from other’s sin as well as our own.
If you are in a season of darkness? If the sin of others has you bound? Please, hold on to Jesus. Never give up. Never let go. Keep following Him, and He will lead you out. Seek the powerful presence of God, and let Him restore your soul.
The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.
Psalm 23
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