God continually offers mercy and grace until we finally accept His precious gift, or reject Him completely. Here’s Christy’s story.
Over the last decade of my life, I have absolutely lived the definition of insanity. I was drowning in darkness and despair. It seemed no matter what I did right, it always turned wrong, always. I was in a battle with the devil and he was winning.
Things pretty much started going wrong when I met my husband. We were so much in love, he was my best friend—my only friend. Three years into our relationship, I became pregnant. It was good news. I looked so forward to having a family of our own.
Then we got the terrible news that his national guard unit was being deployed to Iraq. It was the absolute worst moment of my life. For the next year and a half, I was heavily using opiates and Xanax on top of drinking and smoking weed. Anything to subdue the terror of my reality. Everyone, I knew turned against me. I was alone raising a newborn. I had no one, but my baby and my husband, who may not come back. I lost every ability to function. I was majorly depressed and confused about my now out of control addiction. I had never known an addict, I didn’t understand it. I let the guilt ruin me because I let this happen. I thought something was wrong.
[shareable]I recall watching people and thinking, “I remember being normal like them”. – Christy Cain[/shareable]
I sank further into my addiction. My husband came home two weeks after Katrina. We had lost everything since we lived in Chalmette, which was 100% devastated. Now, with my husband straight home from war, a one-year-old, and a severe addiction, this only forced me further into darkness. I wanted to die. I thought everyone would be better off. It took about six months of camping out at a relative’s home before we returned to my hometown.
Now, my full-time job became secretly finding any doctor to write me a script for any reason. I did this every single day. I hated myself more and more. This was no life at all, and the guilt was crippling. Eventually, I started forging prescriptions to feed my habit. It was like playing Russian roulette and eventually I got caught.
I got arrested for prescription fraud. I pleaded guilty and was awarded drug court on the terms I would get treatment. I did okay for a few months, but eventually, I heard from people about suboxone. I went and got it prescribed, and it seemed that I was getting better.
I felt good for the first time in years. Then I found out I was pregnant with my second child. I decided it was best to stop taking my medicine cause of the baby. I had no idea that I would feel worse than I had detoxing before. I was violently ill and had a rough pregnancy. I found myself going back to get pain medicine. I started forging prescriptions again.
And again, I went to jail.
I know now that I am only free because of God. I shouldn’t have been released. I continued sober through the last weeks of my pregnancy.
After my son was born, a neighbor offered me heroin. I was hooked. I thought, “this way I won’t have to worry about getting a script.” It was cheaper and convenient. Sadly, for the next few months, I used heroin behind my husband’s back. Then he caught me. Once the anger wore off, we started using together. Soon, we were stealing, scamming, and lying to everyone, especially ourselves.
One day we came home to our power disconnected and a lock on the box. With no one to turn to, we decided to move to Mississippi. We came to a disgusting trailer in the middle of nowhere. I hated it. This is when we started doing meth. First night in Mississippi was my first time trying it. At first, I thought it was great. Me and my husband talked and talked. We hadn’t talked in years. Not since he came home.
Quickly the darkness became total. I can tell you that I literally felt we entered into hell. You could see it, feel it, and smell it. I soon realized I was fighting for my family. I didn’t know what to do. The devil was everywhere—literally. I begged my husband to move back to Louisiana, because of the terror I was living. He fought tooth and nail but we did. Two months later we were both in jail and DHS had my kids.
All this happening was too much to handle, but I found solace in jail by reading the Bible. I know God came to me there to open my eyes to clean me up. Remember I should not get out because this is my third felony. But I did.
We got out a week apart three months later. It took everything we had to fight for my kids, everything was against us —except God. We came back to Mississippi, lived in a tent for three months, but ultimately did everything required of us to get our kids back. I was now pregnant with my third child. I did good the whole time I was pregnant. My kids were home now and now a new baby.
It didn’t take long to start again. All the hurt of the past ten years, between our family, each other, betrayals, lies only enticed our need to suppress the pain. We used for the next six years, last year was back to meth.
Once again God stepped in. On December 3, He again took my kids, put my husband in jail, and sent me to rehab.
This is when I went to Taylor House. It was here, that I realized that the worst day of my life was actually the beginning. I found love and felt love. I learned so much about God and His purpose for me and our family.
I have kept clean for one year now. My boys and my husband are home. We are all saved, and serve the Lord together.
God knew it would take something drastic for me to get it and I finally did.
Now me and my husband talk about God every day, and how He has been there our whole life. We just didn’t know it.
I have a long way to go, but I am grateful for how far I have come. God loved me enough to set me apart to save my soul.
I have truly been set free.
I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. ~ Psalms 27:13