Testimony Tuesday with Kaleigh Willard

[guestpost]Have you ever blamed God for the bad things in your life? Read Kaleigh’s story. You’ll be blessed.[/guestpost][featured-image single_newwindow=”false”]My name is Kaleigh. I was raised in a home by my grandparents where we only went to church on your typical holidays; Christmas, Easter, Mothers Day etc… I knew about God but never had a relationship with Him.

When I was 10, my mother died of a heroin overdose and my father, he just wasn’t there. So needless to say growing up I was full of anger, bitterness, unforgiveness, hate, resentment, and hurt. I couldn’t understand why God would take someone I needed away from me. I was mad at Him. I even denied Him.

Trying to fill that void, that empty hole in my heart I turned to drugs and men; looking for love in all the wrong places.

At the age of 18, I moved out of my grandparents’ house and in with my boyfriend 2 hours away. I found out I was pregnant not even a month a later. Everything was just so perfect in my eyes. Only after 3 years, we split. I found myself very quickly in another relationship. Looking for that love I’ve always longed for. And again I had found myself in the same situation. Only a month later I was pregnant. 6 years and 3 children later I had suffered emotional, physical, and mental abuse. Concussions, broken bones, bruises, being cheated on over and over, called names, and even at one point, I thought he would kill me. In my eyes I loved this man so much I would have done anything for him just to love me back. Even if that meant giving up my son. (Which I did) I felt as if he resented my son because he didn’t belong to him. Always fearing I would go back to my ex, I thought by giving my son to his dad that would prove to him, he was the only man I wanted. One morning after being severely beaten, I waited until he went to sleep and I left with our 2 children.

I moved back to my hometown in October 2015 and by January 2016 I found myself in a full-blown meth addiction and by June in another relationship with a young man who also was in his own addiction. I had given my 2 little girls to my grandparents because at this point I had given up in life. I felt worthless and I knew they deserved better than what I could have given them. All I cared about was getting high to numb the pain of all the memories of the abuse and being rejected. Still, in my addiction that no one knew about or at least I thought, I got my girls back and I got married. But things only got worse. I still wasn’t the mother they needed and drugs seemed to consume my life.

May 1st, 2017, I checked myself into the Haven of Hope. I gave my life to Christ 2 weeks after being there. It’s the best thing that I ever could have done. Let me tell you how good my God is. Today, I am clean and sober. I’m a mother again. I have my life back. I’m full of peace and joy. I now fill that void in my heart with the love of Jesus Christ and I can’t even begin to tell you how amazing that feels. Before I couldn’t understand why God would let me go through life and experience the things I did. But He used the bad for His glory.

I love my Jesus and He loves me. I’m thankful and blessed. He has opened many doors for me. A God that has promised me my heart’s desire has been restoring all that the locust have eaten over the years.

MY GOD IS GOOD!

Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you: But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ’s sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy. ~ I Peter 4:12-13