Growing up I had an average family. Mother and father never divorced. My family was whole consisting of Mom, Dad, my younger sister, and me.
One might say I had a good chance of success. I made good grades and earned high honors in high school. I was intelligent, but one thing was lacking in my seemingly perfect life.
My father’s time. He worked, paid the bills, kept the cars running, but I can count on one hand how many times he spent time with me just because. When he was home, the TV took all of his attention. “Wait until a commercial,” he would say. Then a commercial would come on and it was, “Not right now! I can’t hear.” He never had time for us.
I grew up longing to be a daddy’s girl. It wasn’t long before I began trying to fill that void with boys. A male figure that would show me attention and love. Then it happened.
I was pregnant at sixteen. Shattered my dreams and future plans for college. I chose to be a mother to my son instead of the alternatives.
I had this boyfriend. He was the sweetest, kindest soul I had ever met. He worshiped the ground I walked on. He was willing to help raise my son, and after five years of off and on dating, we finally decided that we would get married. I couldn’t be happier! On that Saturday night in October, we set a date for the following May.
Now, I could finally start planning a wedding and my son would have a male figure in his life in a constant setting.
The next day was Sunday, church day. My favorite day of the week, because I loved the Lord so! That night, I received the baptism of the Holy Ghost! It was an amazing feeling. Like floating on a cloud. After church that night, my close friend asked me if I was sure that this boyfriend was “the one.” I answered hesitantly, “Well, I’m pretty sure.” I knew in my heart that I should have been 100% sure to a question like that.
So, being a mentor in my life, she encouraged me to pray about it. And that is exactly what I did. I prayed fervently that night over it. The next morning, I had this feeling that there was something God needed me to do, but that I was not going to like it. It nagged me for three days.
On Wednesday, a Godly woman that God had placed in my life, came by my desk. I was telling her how I couldn’t shake this feeling that God wanted me to do something, and that I would not like it. She was propped on one hand on my desk, then stood straight up and said, “You know what to do.” I looked down where her hand had just been. It was on top of the newspaper on my desk and the headline read “How to Call off a Wedding with Style.”
My heart sank. He wasn’t the one.
I went home and prayed over it more. God assured me that there was one, and he would be the one my soul loveth. He would love me even more than this guy. I didn’t think anyone could love me more than he did. I listened. I obeyed. I called the wedding off.
I felt a release in my spirit from this man. It’s like nothing I had ever felt up to that point.
Almost a year later, it happened. God brought him to me. Spoke His approval to us. We are now married with three additional kids. He raises my firstborn as if he’s always been his. And when I tell you that he loves me more than the other guy, I mean, he loves me so much more.
A father of the fatherless, and a judge of the widows, is God in his holy habitation. Psalm 68:5