Here is Daphne’s story of how God showed her without a doubt that He loved her.
A few years back, a friend was watching a movie that caught my attention. The movie itself was okay, but it was the wardrobe the characters wore that first caught my eye. The characters of The Matrix wore long, black, sleek, trench-coat-style jackets. And I wanted one!
I asked anyone who would listen to buy me one for my birthday or Christmas…or even on a made up occasion to just have a reason to give me a gift! As hard as I tried, I never received my jacket and the idea eventually faded. I can’t imagine what excuse I used to not to just buy the jacket myself. All the same though the jacket never materialized in my closet.
Many years and jacket types later, I was outside The Haven of Hope talking with a friend around a bonfire, and a thought popped into my head. I remembered the jacket that I’d so badly desired for so many years and offhandedly told her that I’d been wanting this specific jacket, explaining in detail what I wanted and how long I wanted it. I told her, “I’m going to let you buy me a Matrix jacket for Christmas.” She replied sarcastically, “Okay. I’ll get right on that.”
The jacket comment forgotten, two weeks later a church brought a stack of jackets that had been donated by various members of the church. When they asked us as a group who needed winter jackets, I didn’t immediately jump up to check on what was available. Being a bigger sized person, I’ve gotten used to the fact that clothes in my size were not typically donated. I don’t know why, but bigger clothes are harder to find when it comes to second hand, like yard sales or second hand stores. It is just a fact I was accustomed to thus my lack of hope that I would find a jacket to fit in the pile brought in.
In any case, I did make my way to the office and began my search, “just in case. Before, I got to the jacket, a lady picked it up and said it looked it would be “cute” on me. The jacket she was handing me was exactly the jacket I’d always asked everyone to get me. Though no one hand chose to donate this jacket to me in particular, what were the odds? I quickly grabbed it and put it on.
I can’t find enough words to explain the feelings that welled up inside me in that moment! I barely mumbled thank you before running out of the office and into the dining room. I had to run away before someone figured out maybe that it wasn’t a donation; that it accidentally got mixed in with the others!!
Once in the dining room, I ran circles around the tables in excitement for my perfect Gift from God! I realized, right then, that all my concerns for my future were in vain. I’d just gotten over the awesome idea that God loved me no matter what…and now He was showing me. He had all the rest of my life taken care of.
Rubber really met the road, finally! I received the message! One, God was eavesdropping on my conversations all this time, but most importantly, two, He was showing me that He cared so much for me that He wanted me to have not just any jacket, but the exact one I’d desired!! He let me know that even the smallest details were important to Him. In my jacket, I heard Him tell me, “Can’t you see that if I care about the small details, such as the type of jacket you want, that everything else is more than taken care of and in your obedience, you will have a blessed life?”
I was so overcome with a peace and contentment and had no idea how to react…so I went outside and ran in bigger circles!!
Everyone laughed, and they still do, but my jacket is forever etched into my testimony. I will never forget the feeling of experiencing God’s love, and His assurance that everything was going to be okay! Each and every time I wear my jacket, I remember what it’s meant to my spiritual journey. And I’m comforted by the snug feeling I get when its wrapped around me, assuring me that God is always holding me.
The definition of matrix is “Something from which something else develops” and my Matrix Jacket represents the trust in God that developed the day I found my jacket—the jacket handpicked by God and given to me!!!